|Learning to resent ourselves...?
||[Apr. 7th, 2006|04:00 am]
|||||majic 95.5, my workday mix.||]|
OR "Top 5 Reasons I Know I'm a Grown-Up" (though I've been a middle-aged woman, secretly, probably forever):
5. My etiquette in the grocery store: I talk about the weather with the cashiers, I offer to bag them myself, I get annoyed when I get home and all of my frozen stuff is not in the same bag. I buy air freshner, and spend a long time figuring out the best deal on toilet paper.
4. I don't have enough money. Ever. : Rent, electric bills, vet bills, doctor's visits, food, gas, "savings." Man, the other grown-ups weren't kidding--this shit sucks!!
3. I'm moving across the country and: the only logical thing that comforts me about it is the fact that I think it'd be better for "my career." Yeah, and I'm still not comforted.
2. I relax like an old lady: "Oh, no thanks, I'm not going to drink. I'm not interested in your trendy energy drink alcoholic beverages, thanks. I mean, I don't mean that in a patronizing way, it's just that, well, I would just rather a nice cup of Earl Grey and a good book instead. A party? Well, I would really rather play board games at home tonight. If we want to get really wild, we could order a pizza. I mean, I guess it's okay to bring beer. But I don't want things to get too out of hand, you know? I'd like to be able to relax. Calm down. Get some peace and quiet. Tomorrow, if I'm feeling really stressed out after our big night with the pizza and all, you know, I'll probably clean the bathroom to quiet my mind. I may even clean the kitchen, too, if I want to feel really good."
Seriously. This is me. I mean, not all the time. But enough. I hate myself.
1. I get adult diapers delivered in non-descript boxes and I have lost all interest in sex, spicy foods and music that is either too loud, too hip or too fast. : You too, right?