Log in

No account? Create an account
holding my gordita [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

stalking [Apr. 10th, 2006|11:05 am]
have you ever clicked on the links in our interests?

because there is an actual lj community dedicated to stalking. like, real, in-person, everyday stalking. it hasn't been active since august, but still. this is great.
linkpost comment

Learning to resent ourselves...? [Apr. 7th, 2006|04:00 am]
[Current Location |mid-thirties.]
[feeling |calm35.]
[listening to |majic 95.5, my workday mix.]

OR "Top 5 Reasons I Know I'm a Grown-Up" (though I've been a middle-aged woman, secretly, probably forever):

5. My etiquette in the grocery store: I talk about the weather with the cashiers, I offer to bag them myself, I get annoyed when I get home and all of my frozen stuff is not in the same bag. I buy air freshner, and spend a long time figuring out the best deal on toilet paper.

4. I don't have enough money. Ever. : Rent, electric bills, vet bills, doctor's visits, food, gas, "savings." Man, the other grown-ups weren't kidding--this shit sucks!!

3. I'm moving across the country and: the only logical thing that comforts me about it is the fact that I think it'd be better for "my career." Yeah, and I'm still not comforted.

2. I relax like an old lady: "Oh, no thanks, I'm not going to drink. I'm not interested in your trendy energy drink alcoholic beverages, thanks. I mean, I don't mean that in a patronizing way, it's just that, well, I would just rather a nice cup of Earl Grey and a good book instead. A party? Well, I would really rather play board games at home tonight. If we want to get really wild, we could order a pizza. I mean, I guess it's okay to bring beer. But I don't want things to get too out of hand, you know? I'd like to be able to relax. Calm down. Get some peace and quiet. Tomorrow, if I'm feeling really stressed out after our big night with the pizza and all, you know, I'll probably clean the bathroom to quiet my mind. I may even clean the kitchen, too, if I want to feel really good."

Seriously. This is me. I mean, not all the time. But enough. I hate myself.

1. I get adult diapers delivered in non-descript boxes and I have lost all interest in sex, spicy foods and music that is either too loud, too hip or too fast. : You too, right?
link1 comment|post comment

top 5 signs we're all grown up [Apr. 5th, 2006|12:12 pm]

5. I'm suddenly curious about what a 401k might actually be. 

4. Waking up early on Christmas morning is about as exciting as waking up early on Thursday morning

3. I can stay up as late as I want! And that's usually like 11:00

2. I used to think slackers were HOTT. Now I'm more likely to be turned on when a guy mentions his career goals

1. I just don't understand kids these days... and they actually refer to that crap they listen to as MUSIC!
linkpost comment

top five celebritites that I'm attracted to even though it's WRONG [Dec. 6th, 2005|10:25 pm]
[feeling |dirtydirty]
[listening to |coke fizzle]

5. Peter Gallagher
He's old and everyone rags on his eyebrows but damn if I don't find him incredibly sexy. Plus he's on the OC, what more justification do I need?

4. Bill Nye (The Science Guy)
Yeah, I've taken a lot of shit for this one, but whatever. I'd hit that and then let him explain the cascade of hormones released by my adrenal glands during human mating.

3. Dave Attell
I could fall in love with this man. I just couldn't brag about it.

2. Jack Black
THIS IS NOT JUST BECAUSE HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE WE KNOW. In fact, it is currently in spite of that fact.

1. Zach Galifianakis
ooohhmmmmyeaahhhhhoh! Oh! OHHHHHHHHHHH!
He pulls off the homeless look so well.

And what have we learned today? Basically, if you're funny enough I'll want to have sex with you. No matter what.
link4 comments|post comment

I am a pedophile. [Dec. 6th, 2005|05:32 pm]
[feeling |amusedamused]
[listening to |somethin somethin baby's eyes]

Top 5 celebrities I'm attracted to even though I know it's wrong.

5. The kid who played Peter Pan in the new version.
His name is Jeremy Sumpter, and I want to bone him. If I had a bone to bone him with. Not only is he really young, but he LOOKS especially young. He's like the definition of a pedophile's dream. So boyish, such creamy skin and tiny shoulders....

4. Woody Allen.
I don't know what to do about this. Is it the glasses? The neurosis? The now-vanished talent? I just like him, alright? Get off me.

3. Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen.
Even though they're creepy now, I still think they're pretty hot. Plus I just have a hard time getting over the girl-crush I had for all of high school. Plus, they're twins and I have no reason to think that isn't sexy, right? Wait...

2. Fred Savage as Kevin Arnold on the Wonder Years.
Okay, so this kind of makes sense, but I still am only attracted to him as he was on the Wonder Years. I pretty much want him to be a little boy forever.

1. Jeff Goldblum.
There are times when I think this is actually way more normal than it is weird.
link2 comments|post comment

top five reasons that this fucking semester needs to end NOW [Dec. 5th, 2005|07:45 pm]
[feeling |tiredtired]
[listening to |the wb's related]

5. I'm so incredibly far behind. I'm going to hit menopause before I finish this workload.
4. I'm running out of money to support my aderol habit. My increasingly necessary aderol habit.
3. My (boring) psych professor has already accused me of having a sleeping disorder and it's not going to get any better with time.
2. If one more person sends me an e-mail with the subject line "notes" I will explode.
1. I just don't give a shit about government, astronomy, art history, u.s. history, biopsychology or anything else.
link1 comment|post comment

top five reasons this fucking semester needs to end [Dec. 5th, 2005|02:34 pm]
[feeling |cheerfulcheerful]
[listening to |videos in class]

cupcake cupcake

5. We need to go shopping.
I can't even remember the last time we went and spent money we don't have at Urban Outfitters/random mall stores/anywhere they sell things/popular lunching establishments/smoothie joints/coffee joints/Cinnabon.......all in one day. Besides, it's Christmastime, so we have further justification for shopping and then buying things for ourselves as a reward for buying such nice things for other people. We need time to do this.

4. Cupcakes are waiting to be baked, faces are waiting to be stuffed.
Need I say more?

3. I've started getting depressed when I hear the words "Mary Magdalene" or "graphic design" or "biology." I mean, seriously depressed.
The jokes about how much school sucks stopped being funny a long time ago and are now sad.

2. I've started walking around the St.Ed's campus thinking nothing but curse words.
I am so bitter, it's disgusting. I don't even feel like myself. I use to only dread the campus when I was running into someone I didn't want to talk to, or going to Biology. Well, I haven't really run into anyone lately, and I stopped going to Biology....so, I'm walking around thinking "those trees are ugly, man FUCK ST.EDWARD'S."

1. I've already stopped going to class, doing homework, listening to teachers and, well, caring at all.
So, dear semester, I'm just waiting for you to catch up with me.
link1 comment|post comment

top five reasons to start a merbearsarbear top five journal [Dec. 4th, 2005|08:12 pm]
[feeling |excitedexcited]
[listening to |the mix that sarbear made for merbear]

5.  we'll finally have a place to show off our highly advanced computer skillz. for example, we both know that if you need to make a cut, you just IM blake and make him do it for you.
4. it'll be like when we used to leave surprises for each other in our lockers. except with top five lists instead of surprises and computers instead of lockers! (and this way, sarah can't fill it with stale corn tortilla chips that pour out everywhere when you go to open it.)
3. number three is a really good reason, but you probably wouldn't get it. it's kind of a merbearsarbear thing.
2. who's gonna stop us? you? nigga, please.
1. future scholars can study it after we die and our friendship goes down in the history books as the greatest friendship of all time.

link2 comments|post comment

top five reasons to start a merbearsarbear top five journal [Dec. 4th, 2005|06:01 pm]
[feeling |ironically, accomplished]
[listening to |the sound of failure]

5. yet another forum for us to bitch about things for our own entertainment
4. will bring us back to the good ol days of crockett high school's perpetual top five lists
3. is another good way to procrastinate
2. can post pictures that will make us laugh and cheer us up
1. we are better than everyone else

that makes sense right?

we'll work out details later. for now, i have successfully put off important work for 6 hours, due in part to this very community. awesome.
link1 comment|post comment

[ viewing | most recent entries ]